A Day at the Museum
by JustPlainToni
Summary: Dib must annoy Zim to protect the secrets and weaknesses of the human race on a educational field trip to the City Museum.


A Day at the Museum

Dib came out of his room and went downstairs to get ready for another day of skool, but it wasn't no average day. It was the day of the skool field's trip to the City's Museum. Dib yawned from boredom thinking about it. He entered the kitchen where he met his father drinking a cup of coffee. It was the first time he actually saw him sitting normally which surprised him.

"What are you doing, Dad?" Dib asked him grabbing a box of cereal out of the cabinet.

"Why, Son, I am enjoying my day off." His father told him.

"You have a day off?" Dib questioned surprised by his father availability.

"Yes, they require me at least one day off each month otherwise I feel STRESSSS!" Prof. Membrane suddenly screamed holding his head then quickly sat down normally in his chair drinking the rest of his coffee.

"Okay…" Dib said backing away from his father's odd behavior.

"I understand that today is your skool's field trip, is that correct?" Prof. Membrane asked his son.

"Yes, today we are going to a museum. How boring. Why can't we go somewhere exciting like to a…I don't know…A zoo or something?" Dib asked himself.

"Son, museums are important. They are the sanctuary of human existence! The time capsule in which our very existence is kept protected and allowing us to bury deep within our past to discover who we are as beings." Prof. Membrane spoke.

"Doesn't make it any more interesting." Dib coldly stated to his father's lecture.

"Nice speech, Dad." Gaz addressed him as she walked into the kitchen.

"Thank you, Daughter." Prof. Membrane said pleased that he was able to impress one of his children. Dib went to fridge and grabbed a half gallon of milk to complete his breakfast creation of cereal and milk. Gaz got two bowls and spoons out of the cupboard and sat at the table to ready their breakfast. They combined the two and ate silently. When Dib was done, he addressed his sister.

"Are sure you gonna be okay without me during lunch?"

"Yea, I was looking forward to it all week." Gaz said pleased putting her bowl and spoon in the sink. Dib looked annoyed by her comment, but ignored it. He put the milk away and grabbed the lunch sack out of the fridge that he prepared the night before and placed it into his backpack.

"Alright, see ya later Dad." Dib said waving his father goodbye as he and Gaz left for skool.

"Okay, you two have a good day at skool." Prof. Membrane said farewell to them as they exit the house. Dib and Gaz walked to skool to join their peers at the educational center that it is skool. Dib went into Ms. Bitters' class and saw Zim sitting at his desk. Dib glared at him, and then stared at his classmates unexpected excitement of going to a museum. They kept chattering with their friends on how fun the museum was going to be and what might be at the gift shop. Dib saw Zim looking around the classroom like he was out on something. Then Ms. Bitters appeared out of the chalk board.

"Hello, class, I know you are all excited for today's field trip but it doesn't mean you can be loud like a moron!" Ms. Bitters screamed at her student forcing them to stay quiet.

"Field Trip?" Zim said shocked. "Zim never agreed to a field trip!"

"Yes, you did." Ms. Bitters said then she quickly slithered her shadow to the front of Zim's desk. "Your parents signed the permission slip for you last week."

"Oh, yeah….Now I remember." Zim said searching his mind. It was last Tuesday when he received the permission slip. He brought it home and stared at the piece of paper as he sat on his couch.

"What is it?" Gir asked him staring at the piece of paper.

"I don't know, but the skool needs my permission to go to a field?" Zim questioned the slip's information. "That's stupid; they don't need a piece of paper for me to go to a field. They could just ask me and I would say yes just along as we are not hunting for moose. Moose are dangerous creatures, one missile aiming at you and you're done for. Hmmm…They need me to sign this?"

"Ohhhh!" Gir screamed. "Let me sign it!"

"Okay…" Zim said handing him the piece of paper figuring it was one last thing that he needed to do.

"I don't know what kind of signature this is." Ms. Bitters said showing Zim the picture of a poorly drawn monkey eating a bag of chicken flavored ramen noodles. "But a signature is a signature so you are going on this field trip if you like it or not!"

"Okay whatever, so what kind of field are we going to, are we hunting for moose?" Zim asked concerned.

"We are not going to a field." Zita said laughing at Zim's question. "We are going to the City Museum."

"The Museum," Zim groaned. "I rather take my chances out in a moose infested field. I don't want to go!"

Ms. Bitters heard Zim's whining and hissed at him.

"You will be going to this field trip, Zim or you'll be stuck at the principle office wishing to be taking out of your misery as you slowly die of boredom." Ms. Bitters warned him.

"But-" Zim tried to protest.

"Slowly…to DEATH!" Ms. Bitters repeated intensely. Zim made a gulping sound as he swallowed his spit in fear, and then nodded.

"Good." Ms. Bitters said. "Children gather your things; we are off to the bus."

"I hope this field trip is better than the last one where we didn't go anywhere but back to skool." Sara said to Jessica as they left the classroom.

"I liked that field trip," Chuck disagreed. "But I miss that dog."

The children of Ms. Bitters' class went through the hallways, out to the skool courtyard and to their bus. The kids entered the bus in a disorderly fashion cramming each other through the door. Ms. Bitters waited for everybody to get on the bus before she went. She dislikes the warmth of children. Dib sat to the middle of the bus while Zim sat in the back alone. The others sat further to the right side of the bus trying to keep away from those two as possible. They drove off to the City. Dib looked out of the window on the way to the Museum watching people passing by on foot, car or in some cases motorcycles, while Zim didn't want to look out. He thought every human looked disgusting. After thirty minutes of driving, the bus arrived into the parking lot of the City Museum. When the bus stopped, the children exit the bus as many as possible that any one little exit could. They ran to the entrance of the huge brown two stories City Museum while Zim and Dib walked off the bus. Ms. Bitters slithered her shadow to the door before the children could enter.

"Be quiet and behave!" Ms. Bitters demanded. "If you are going in a museum, you have to be as quiet! Any unnecessary peeping well send back on the bus and that means you, Dib."

"But I didn't even say anything yet." Dib complained.

"Shhhhh!" Ms. Bitters silenced Dib's complaint. Zim and his classmates chuckled at Dib's unnecessary scolding. Dib just glared at them. They entered the museum gawking at the amazing models and structures of craved masks, Leonardo da Vinci models of flying machines hanging from the ceiling and mannequins wearing traditional Samurai, Knight and Spartan warrior armor. As the children admire the incredible replicas of the artifacts, a short, round woman wearing a dark blue blazer suit greeted the class.

"Hi, Welcome to your City's Museum. My name is Sissy, and I will be your tour guide. Today's exhibit is about the worlds' greatest Ages and Eras of time. We have the Renaissance of European history, the Old Kingdom of Ancient Egypt and the Golden Age of Greece and many, many more." Sissy said walking along showing the children each station the time period it represented. Ms. Bitters' class followed the guide for about three hours explaining each Era that the Museum displayed from the Stone Age to the Big Data Age. After the tour was over, the children were as bored and restless as any other child their age.

"Did you guys have fun?" Ms. Bitters asked her class. Some of them nodded while others groaned.

"So much knowledge!" One kid screamed feeling if his head gotten bigger.

"Not really, it's boring." Sara said displeased.

"Good, glad you enjoyed it. Now you have to write a report on it."

"Ohhhhh…." The class groaned having to do an assignment.

"Pick a time period you have learned and write a report about it. I'll be expecting it by the end of the day at 2 P.M. when we leave." Ms. Bitters said slithering away. The class dispersed as they went around the museum to pick their Age or Era to study. Dib decided to do one that was the most interesting to him, the Middle Kingdom of Egypt where they had a real model of a preserved mummy. Dib grabbed his notebook and pen out of his backpack and began writing his report. When Dib was almost finishing, Ms. Bitters came up to the exhibit and stared at the mummy for a while, then finally spoke.

"Oh, yeah, I remember him…" Ms. Bitters said looking at the mummy. "What a quiet fellow, he was."

Dib stared at his teacher horrified about how old she actually was but before he could ask, she was gone. Dib shook off the disturbing comment from his teacher and finished his report.

"All done, now what do I do?" Dib said. He looked around and saw Zim wandering around the walkway. "Zim, my alien nemeses, you shouldn't be here observing the greatest achievements of all mankind not even our faults! Wait a minute…" 'Museums… sanctuary of human existence… The time capsule in which our very existence is kept protected… to discover who we are…' Dib remembered his father told him over breakfast. Then he looked over at Zim studying the exhibit of the Ming Dynasty in China writing in his notebook.

"Zim could use this museum to gather information about the human race and discover our weaknesses." Dib realized then pronounced. "As the only protector of Earth, it is my sworn duty to stop him from learning our secrets!"

Dib decided then walked up to Zim to see what he was planning. Zim looked up at the model of the Great Wall of China and back down at the information podium to gather his notes, and then he saw a gray frowning face shirt blocking the podium. He looked up and saw it was Dib.

"What do you want Dib-stink?!" Zim spat at him.

"Looking at the Great Wall of China, I see." Dib said nonchalantly.

"Yeah…" Zim stretched out awkwardly.

"It would be great to know how to build a huge wall." Dib said then screamed. "Why are you studying this? Figuring out how to build this is part of your plan?

"What practical use of building a giant wall going to help me conquer the human race?" Zim asked him perplexed by Dib accusations.

"Ummm, well…" Dib muttered rubbing the back of his head.

"Be gone with you," Zim demanded. "I can't concentrate with you bugging me." Dib thought of Zim's statement and came up with a plan.

"No, I won't go away!" Dib decided. "I will annoy you forever!"

"Fine then I'll write about something else, geezs…" Zim said stomping away.

"Yes, that's it, in order for him to not know our secrets; I will have to be as annoying as possible and I was annoying since the day I was born. Zim has no chance." Dib said out loud. "See, annoying, I'm talking to myself out loud again."

Dib followed Zim to another exhibit about Middle Ages in Europe and was going to choose this as his report's topic until Dib appeared.

"Hey, Zim check out my pen." Dib said clicking the pen in front of his face rapidly. Zim looked at Dib then at the annoying clicking sounds the pen made his antennas twitch.

"Hey, quit that." Zim muttered but Dib kept clicking away. Zim sighed angrily and ran away. Zim ran as fast as he could until he couldn't see Dib behind him.

"Whew," Zim sighed relieved he lost him and choose to write about the Petrine Era in Russia. When he placed his pen on his notebook, he heard something whisper to him.

"I know what you're up to and…its…not…going…to…WORK!" Dib shouted suddenly startling Zim dropping his notebook.

"Ah, ha, ha,ha,ha," Dib laughed loudly at his reaction. Zim glared at him then noticed one of the museum's signs.

"Hey, you're supposed to be quiet in a museum, you're being rude!" Zim informed him hoping it would deter Dib from picking on him.

"You usually do but not if the tour guide's on break." Dib said picking up Zim's notebook. "Keep away!"

"Hey, give that back it's mine!" Zim screamed.

"Catch me if you can," Dib challenged running away with his notebook. Dib ran by a few of his classmates wondering what he was doing, and then they saw Zim chasing Dib screaming.

"You worm, give me back my notebook. You make a fool out of Zim!"

"That was weird." Zita replied.

"What's weird about it, they do that during recess." Sara stated.

Zim stopped running and bent down to catch his breath, he looked up to see Dib is full of engery.

'The boy is still hyper, I will have to take drastic measures in order for him to leave me alone.' Zim thought.

"What's a matter Zim, you gonna cry!" Dib taunted him. Zim took a deep breath and screamed.

"Ms. Bitters! Dib is picking on me!"

Dib wiped the grin off his face and look around to see if his teacher will appear. Then from the depths of Dib's shadow, Ms. Bitters showed herself. She growled at the student that disturbed her.

"Is that true Dib?" Ms. Bitters asked him.

"No…" Dib lied hiding Zim's notebook behind his back. Zim grabbed his notebook out of Dib's hands.

"Lies!" Zim screamed pointing to Dib. "He stole my notebook and ran away with it so I won't finish my report."

Ms. Bitters heard Zim's complaint and growled at Dib as he awkwardly smiled at her.

"I'll deal with you guys after lunch, class, lunch break." Ms. Bitters informed her students. Everyone smiled in joy and followed her to the cafeteria in the museum. They entered the large white clean room filled with benches. Some went to the cafeteria line to pick what they were serving while others sat at the tables they decided to create. The class sat in a huge group while Zim decided to sit further to the corner. Dib saw this as an opportunity to further annoy him until Ms. Bitters appeared before him.

"Oh, no, you're eating with me." Ms. Bitters said. "You obliviously need to be supervised."

"Ms. Bitters, Zim's an alien, don't you care that he's going to use information from this museum to destroy mankind?" Dib asked her.

"Dib, I have a whole class to supervise, what makes you think I have time to listen to your nonsense?" Ms. Bitters flatly asked him.

"I don't know." Dib answered her blankly. "I'll go eat my lunch." Dib followed Ms. Bitters to her designated table to eat his brought home lunch. As he eat his sandwich, he thought. 'I wonder how Gaz's doing?'

Meanwhile back at the Skool's Cafeteria

"Oh, come on," Gaz muttered at her Game Slave frustrated, then her character got eaten by the piggies.

"Dang, this is the fiftieth time I died at level one. Why do I suck so badly?" Gaz spoke to herself. "Something's missing."

Then she looked over her shoulder where her brother would usually rant. It was silent.

"Of, course, with his constant ranting, I was more focused playing my video game." Gaz said then she shuddered realizing she would not be able to play her video game so she was forced to be bored until class continued.

"Curse You DIB!" She screamed. "CURSE YOU!"

Dib suddenly felt a disturbing chill run through his body and shuddered as he ate the rest of his lunch.

"Alright, class, lunch is over, you have exactly one hour to complete your report." Ms. Bitters addressed her students, and then turned to Dib. "As for you, did you finish your report?"

"I did it already." Dib told her, she sighed then called over the Tour Guide Sissy.

"Since you can't behave, Dib, you need a chaperone. You can either choose me or Sissy." Ms. Bitters said. Sissy held out her hand to Dib then he looked over to his teacher's hand and saw it was all dry and cracking. Then a pitch black scorpion crawled out of her sleeve into her hand. It had blood red eyes. It hissed at Dib scaring him to choose to hold the tour guide's hand.

"Suit yourself." Ms. Bitters said clutching her hand where laid the scorpion crushing it with her fingers and dropping it on the floor as she floated away.

"We'll have lots of fun around the museum." Sissy told Dib as she walked with him. "I'll show you some other exhibits we have." Sissy took Dib to the Science Center they were setting up for next week's show. Dib had to admit the digital floating strand of DNA turning into RNA was pretty cool but his still had Zim on his mind trying to gather human information. When he turned his direction to the other room, he saw Zim was standing there looking at the digital image the museum displayed as our solar system. Zim laughed at it and walked off.

"I have to find a way to escape this lady." Dib muttered as Sissy explained to Dib the importance of human health.

"So it's important to-"

"Hey, Sissy, I saw some kid leave the museum, he's one of my crazy classmates." Dib told her.

"Oh my," Sissy said. "You wait here, I'll be right back." Sissy ran off while Dib waited then left the Science Center. Dib looked at the Museum's giant wall clock and saw it was 1:50. Only ten minutes to stop Zim's plan. Dib ran along the Historic Center trying to find Zim, meanwhile Zim was with his classmates ready to turn in his report. He finally picked an Age, the Big Data Age, the one where he can most relate to. Zim was about to hand his paper to Ms. Bitters until Dib ran up to Zim, took his notebook and started ripping up his report. Dib ripped his notebook to shreds and smiled pleased by his actions. His classmates stared at Dib's childish behavior astonished.

"What's wrong with you?" Zim screamed angrily at Dib.

"Aha, I stopped you Zim, I stopped you from learning our secrets of our existence! Ah ha ha ha ha!" Dib screamed.

"Poor, Zim." Zita said. "Had his report destroyed by crazy Dib."

"What's wrong with you?" The Letter M asked him.

"Yeah, this is why nobody likes you." Poochie told him.

"Dib, you done it this time!" Ms. Bitters said glaring down at him. "When we get back to skool, you are getting detention for a whole week starting today. Zim!"

"Sir!" Zim saluted his teacher.

"Don't worry about your assignment, I saw you do it." Ms. Bitters told him.

"Yes, Ms. Bitters," Zim said pleased and marched off.

"All of you turn in your reports and get to the bus, pronto!"

Her students handed her their papers as they left for the bus parked at the entrance. They went on the bus and was back at skool in no time getting ready to call it a day. Dib got off the bus and Zim waiting for him.

"I'm curious, Dib-monkey," Zim spoke to him. "What exactly were you trying to achieve by destroying my notebook and annoying me throughout this whole field trip?"

"To stop you, of course from learning anything about the human race and their weaknesses and I stopped and you'll never know." Dib said laughing. Then Zim started laughing, Dib heard him and became confused.

"Why are you laughing, I won." Dib asked him, and then Zim stopped laughing and smiled evilly at the boy.

"Your plan could have worked but you never considered the fact that I was here last week gathering all the information and weak points I needed of your species."

"What?" Dib said surprised. "What is our species weakness, huh? Huh? Huh?"

"Ignorance." Zim spoke slyly to him.

"Come, Dib," Ms. Bitters said grabbing Dib's hand. "I want you suffering from your punishment as soon as possible."

Dib was taken away by the shadow of Ms. Bitters as Zim waved him goodbye to suffer the doom he brought out on himself.

* * *

To be fair, I did give Zim a few IQ points to come out the victor but it makes a good read, no?


End file.
